The Creation of Sourdough Bread

The creation of SOURdough bread was very much the handiwork of Ian Neeley, or should i say the ancestor of Jayce Bryant, a Jewish Athenian Homosexual baker. Dating back in 300 B.C. there is a story of the 300 Spartans fighting the war against the bronies and hipsters. As they prepared for battle, a random question was asked by Captain Bisquick of the US continental army. He questioned, "YOUR PROFESSION?!?!?" and Sir Lithan M. Morgenburg (Gay Athenian​​ Baker man ) responded with "MY PROFESSION?!?!.... Well, i've always wanted to be a baker..."

From that point on, Sir Litha​n M. Morgenburg dropped his armor, shield, hard and long spear (if you know what I mean) and went to pursue after his fantasy of being a baker.

As he returned, the Athenians questioned his adventure. He responded with "No man will believe what i've been through". Surely enough, they were not aware that he absolutely missed the battle and went to have sexual intercourse with a male donkey, little did HE know that it was not a donkey, but a rabid squirrel.

As the years went on, his bread was the hardest of the realm, dissatisfied, he gave up, and took a long break from his day life. This leads and follows up to the creation of what we know as, Sourdough bread.

In his break, he decided to formally masturbate, as he was approaching his climax, he noticed there was no fapkins nearby, but just the dough of the bread he has failed to create. Quickly reaching his climax, he sought for the bread, grabbed it and ejaculated all over it, inside, outside, thouroughly doused.

After satisfaction, Sir Lithan slept in an elephant's anal cavity.

The following morning however, he baked the fap bread. Without knowing, it baked with the passion of a thousand eagles soaring into a dolphins blow hole. As it finished, the creation was stupendous.

Tasting it, was what lead to the naming of SOURdough bread. It was sour, with some hints of leftover creamy semen. All the Athenians loved it, and to this day, the same ancient method is used to create what we love... Sour...Dough... Bread.