The Gravitational well that is his stomach

The Gravitational well that is his stomach, has been known for lifting babys out of carrages, and devouring them instantly.

The "well" consistis of multiple points of great mass this creates a dip in space and time for this can pull things from a great distance then launch them in to the upper reaches of the atmosphere. His stomach's name is ronaldo and it has a mind of its own. Occasionally Ronaldo will detach while Ian is at a state of rest to hunt down and eat neighborhood cats, it will also go through trash cans for more scraps of food.

He is known for his stomach around the world. Once Ronaldo brought down a 747 boeing jet airliner just from the gravity difference. During his visit to Ughanda his stomach attacked a wild pack of elephants. It was able to eat all of them in less than two minutes. This "gut" has been a threat to the world since he was born. Common food items for Ronaldo consiste of spare tires, full cantalopes, crill, Pam cooking spray, eight year old boys, and wooden doors.

The way the stomach digests the materials it consumes is by a black hole at the base of the small intestine. He is known for wildly attacking sperm banks so he can drink one gallon of sperm a week, this also keeps Ronaldo happy as well. The seamen is slowly building up in his major organs, this will soon cause a massive exploson of seamen and excrement. This bi-product of thee exploson will work its way into the atmosphere and delay air travel for a month or to.

When Ian does not get his dose of seamen he turns into a knockoff of the "hulk" to others it is a female symptom to a thing called P.M.S this puts Ian into a Violent uncontrollable rage, during this he throws his feces at anyone in his path. If you are caught in this happening you will surely DIE. The excrement will work its way into your body systems and shut them down. So make sure he gets his semen.



His stomach has a 84foot tounge that will lick ones anus clean. This tounge is also used for killing baby seals so he can store fat for the winter. He eats harbor seals, walruses, and sea otters, these animals are high in fat so it provides enough blubber for the cold canadian winter. He usually hides in a mountain of butter or lard to keep warm.

The digestion of Ian Neely is much different than our own, his stomach takes in the food, than he relesases it from his bowels shoves back down his throat for it to digest and to be then shot out of his ear cavaties this is the process of which he eats food. He will also hunt down non circumsized men and cut off their foreskin. After that he ties a string to it a nd flys it like a kite.

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